The Power of the Word – the strength of instant connection


I received a telephone call on Christmas Day, it went something like this:

“Hi there I’ve just been reading your website. I’m calling to wish you a Happy Christmas”.

“Aw that’s lovely, thank you”

“I’m a straight Christian, I used to be homophobic”


“I notice from your website that you call what you do a caring profession and I agree. I used to have the wrong view of what escorts do, but I see that you work with everybody, regardless of what they look like or anything. I am a member of a pro-gay Christian group and am going to tell them this. I think you come across as very genuine”

“It’s lovely to hear that Sir thank you very much, I really appreciate it”

The conversation went on for some minutes with the gentleman telling me about the Bible and his views on sex work and homosexuality. The underpinning to everything he said to me was acceptance, understanding and compassion. He also demonstrated incredible insight, so far as him recognising that he used to be homophobic and that in the past he had a pre-conceived idea as to what sex workers did – without actually knowing what we do at all. Nothing unusual but what prompted his call? Why did he feel able to reach out to me instantly?

An online presence

A website can be huge in volume and extensive in the information you share with your audience. Whilst it might be there primarily to drum up business and to enable you to pay your bills – there is a lot more going on here. It can also be, as in this case, a means of education and direct communication. A medium wherein you can discuss absolutely anything from safer sex to spirituality to talking about history. I do all these things with my website but here’s the thing – I didn’t realise what effect this was having in the ‘real world’. Not until this encouraging call from a complete stranger.

This reminded me of the power of words and the incredible and instant response from online communication in a digital age. There’s an element of immediacy about this which possibly gave this gentleman the subliminal nod that it was okay to call me. Would he have responded so spontaneously had he read an article in a magazine? Maybe. The point is though, that the online world (and word) is instant. If you change your mind – you can delete it and start again. If you want to be brave enough to be yourself you can put it out there and see instant results, whether this is your intention or not.

There are of course down sides to online advertising and personal websites, but I will cover this at a later date in another blog post for Beyond the Gaze on personal websites pros and cons for sex workers. What I am saying to you here is really simple – know that you can make a difference in the world merely by sharing your story. The business of sex is very personal. It’s intimate. It stands to reason that our advertising can be the same. It is up to us how we word this, who we reach out to and who we ultimately book an appointment for but let’s just take the business out of the situation for a moment and say this:

Never give up – you never know who you’re inspiring.

Matt-at-Lotus is a sex coach who can be found at He has over twenty years experience in the adult industry and works with sex workers and the general public on sex, relationships and marketing.

*Some details have been changed slightly to protect privacy.


Please note all our blogs are the views of the author  and do not necessarily represent the views of the Beyond the Gaze Team.